It's gotten to the point where I have no words left, and I no longer know what to say. I can see that he's looking for me to save him with some words of comfort, or knowledge; of understanding. Anything. But my mind is just blank.
The cursor flashes out its own heart beat, waiting for the letters to flow into existance. It blinks at me, and I blink back. My fingers are stilled to silence as I hazily gaze at the text floating on the screen.
"Dj is writting..." continues to show at the bottom of the conversation. The text moves again and I stare past the words at the paleness behind them.
"Dj is waiting..."
There's nothing left in me to offer up as comfort. Haven't they bled me dry already?
To die, to sleep... to sleep perchance to dream; Aye there's the rub - for what dreams will come if I never get to sleep again?
Three hours last night. Three. And now here I sit, still awake, still tapping away at keys long untouched. The night continues quietly around me for once. The neighbours music is turned off (or at least so far down I can't hear it), there is hardly any traffic, my flat mates are no doubt sound asleep. Yet here I sit. Attempting to comfort someone 30 miles away without words.
I have to be up at 9, though my alarm is always set for (and slept through) 8.00am. Evil alarm. I'm not a morning person - and I never will be. The only time I'm awake before 9.30am is when I've not been to sleep yet. Which happens very frequently if I'm honest - but that ISN'T the point.
Reading Wolf Hall for my contemporary fiction module atm. It's good - though I know nothing of the period it's set in. Thomas Cromwell... the name rang a bell (eventually) but I have no idea who he was, or if this novel is in any way accurate. I remember something vague about Henry VIII having 6 wives, and a rhyme about how he moved between them... but other than that I'm at a loss as to ingenuity and genuine fact. I was supposed to have read it for last thursday - but it's hard to read when you have a blinding headache and can't stop coughing... even harder to attend lectures. So here I am - first week finished - and I've attended a whopping 1 out of 5 lectures.
Dr. Hurt examined my chest though and pronounced that it wasn't a chest infection, so I should be fine soon. No getting pnuemonia and dying of plague.
I don't know why i'm even writting this if I'm honest - it's late, I'm ill, all I can think about is the stupid relationship web that keeps getting all tangled up lately. Do you ever get to that point, where everyone seems to be involved with someone else? And yet, they aren't, and they're also involved with you... and then things start getting complicated because someone says "I don't like the relationship you have with so-and-so", and then friends become enemies, become lovers, become friends... it's all too complicated.
I think there should be some kind of enema for all this rubbish.
See - seeee! This right here - this COMPLICATED crap - this is the reason I never had a social life. They're confusing!
Oh well, live and let live... die and feed on human flesh... mmm brains...
Did I mention I'm working on this project called "Do Zombies Dream of Undead Sheep?"
It'll be great. Though even if they do... I don't think they count them.
Zombie counting would be an awesome way to get to sleep though "Brains... more brains... more brains... more..." you get the idea.
I've just realised I have a propensity for over using ellipses...
and a complicated desire for propinquity...
Oh well - ramble over
blessed be
