I give a sigh as the credits start to roll, and resist the urge to snuggle futher into the warmth of his bed. I know if I don't move now I'm going to fall asleep, which is such a social faux-pas. After all, my flat mate totaly has a crush on him... there is no way I'm going to his and spending the night while she's sat back at ours. She'd kill me.
So I summon the remanants of my energy and roll over to give him a hug goodbye.
He gives me a squeeze and I try to ignore the gentle rythmn of his heart beat as it tries to lure me back to the land of nodd.
"Night night!" He says cheerfully and promptly starts snoring. The douche.
Seconds later I'm climbing across him and literally falling out of the bed as my leg gets caught in the thick warm dovet. Even the bed doesn't want me to leave!
Wish I could say the same about it's occupant.
I shove my shoes and jacket on and he sees me out, making me promise to text him when I get in (even though we both know he'll be fast asleep by then).
The bitter cold of Autumn hasn't yet fully taken grip, but it's still chilly outside. The breeze wakes me up in moments and I quickly realise I'm not going to sleep when I get in. Not that I care. I'm still riding the bliss that he wraps me in just by being there.
I analyse this feeling as I walk home.
See, Li is one of those people who projects good vibes and good feelings. It's why he's so well liked by... well, by everyone really. He's fun to be around and he makes everyone feel better without needing to try.
I, on the other hand, am what's classed as an empath. I soak up everyone elses feelings and replicate them. It kinda sucks - especially if you're with people who are feeling like a pile of excrement.
So you put those two things together and it's like getting a hit of pure happiness. It's better than any sugar rush I've ever had - because it's not just hyperactive happiness, it's real. And it lasts. I'd pick half hour with him over any kind of drug.
There's all this rubbish going on lately. I'd say it's in my life, but it more feels like it's round my life. Maybe that's because I feel disconnected from everything, or maybe it's because I've just stopped giving a damn about the silly little things that are such huge problems.
Like - I don't really care if my flat mate hates the guy I'm sleeping with... and I don't really care if he's acting like my boyfriend even though I'm not interested in that sort of thing... and I'm not really bothered about the fact that the guy I was head over heals in love with for the past two years is only my friend. A few months ago it was as if those were the biggest, life stopping issues in the UNIVERSE, but I feel like that fish now - the don't-worry-be-happy-fish. Yes, that's right - I'm a fish.
And as my poster reminds me - Fish Happens.
So here I am, laid in bed posting my first blog, cursing the walk home that woke me up and made me want to go for a wander down by the river (again). Yes, that's right - I chose to write this instead of go visit the swans.
That reminds me though - I need to find a way to video the bridge at night.
There's this awesome effect created by the reflection of the water onto the underside of the bridge; and if you lay there and look at it (you kinda have to unfocus your eyes ever so slightly so you stop noticing the cracks in the the cement) it's like looking at a pool of water... that's above you. It's so trippy at 3am.... cold too, but hey.
When we were there the other night it felt to me like we were actually under water, starring at the surface. Cause, after all, water can't just stay upside down... you'd have to be playing with gravitational forces like mad to get that to work.
Which gives me an awesome idea for a story...
Either which way, I'm going to leave you with this thought:
If you look for something hard enough, you'll see it - but you'll blind yourself to everything else.
There's my philosophical thought for the day,
I bid you adieu.
blessed be
