I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
It's really that simple.
You may be wondering why. If so I have this to say:
Walk a mile in my shoes.
Then do it with the friends around you that surround me.
You'll understand.
Life is this big squishy ball of horridness. Everyone who has been on this earth long enough knows that. It's a hard lesson for some, but it's one we all eventually learn.
Life is often poop.
But there's this strange phenomenon with life - in that the poop breeds diamonds and hearts of gold. There are these amazing people who stand against the tide of hate and pain.
People like Geraldine - who puts up with things that you would never imagine, and yet she never complains about them and is always this beacon of hope and happiness. She doesn't do it in any particularly 'standing out' way, it's just this gentle comforting presence that she presents. I'm so grateful that she's my house mate.
People like Libor - who there really aren't enough words to praise. He's always there, for everyone, and he never lets any of the strain show to the world. He's not just my best friend, he's my role model, my guardian angel, my knight in shining armour and sincerely the most amazing person I've ever met. How I'll ever cope with out having him always by me after this year I don't know.
People like Kaydie - who will storm with you, test you, reflect the worst you there is; but forgive you for it and love you anyway. We may not be good to each other, but she's one of the biggest parts of my life and one of the biggest parts of my heart too. For everything I've ever done or said to hurt her - there aren't enough ways to say sorry. For everything she's ever put up with, done for me, and stayed with me through I'm so grateful and I love her for.
People like DJ - who fucks the rest of your life up at times, but manages somehow to make everything okay with something that isn't even supposed to be funny but makes you laugh away all the problems. He's cared for me through the third worst time in my life, and let me vent my anger against the whole world on him. I tell him to go away, and he stays anyway out of the knowledge that I do actually need him in some inexplicable way, and continues to provide me with love and support no matter what I do or say.
People like Helen - who is so strong and sensible, who exerts her will in a way that makes me both admire her and be proud of her. She not only puts up with my insanity, she encourages me, and provokes me when I need it, kicks me up the arse and sends me to bed when I'm up too late. She is always ready with a quip, joke, or kind word; no matter the situation she makes me feel better just by being her. I admire her so much for both her commitment and her ability to completely disregard her own obsession (especially for her friends). She never sees how amazing she is, or how great a friend she is, but I'm so lucky to have found a friend like her, who I understand and who understands me without needing explanation. I wouldn't have made it through this past month without her, and I certainly wouldn't have had such an awesome time if she hadn't been there laughing along with me. For the laughs, the hugs, the insanity and the strength she shares so generously with me I am, and always will be, unspeakably grateful.
People like Jodie - who are brave and active and always there, no matter what. She cares more about you and how you're feeling than about herself - even when she's just come out of surgery!! It has been so easy to become close to her because of how much we have in common and how much I wish I were more like her. She's so beautiful, both on the outside and the inside, and I think of her as a little sister I never asked for but was blessed with anyway.
The last month or two have been the road to hell. I've been blind, stupid, hateful and just plain horrid. Welcome to the road to recovery.
This was going to be a blog all about how you don't need to have a boyfriend/girlfriend when you have someone so special in your life already... but I'm even luckier than people who have that - because I have so many special people in my life. The people above are the people who are closest to me at the moment - but there are so many who are almost as close. Abby and Erik who were there for me all through first year, who I've drifted from lately (which I'm sorry for), my friends back home - TJ, Sasha, Stephanie, Kayleigh, Dave, Kiran, Beth, Lucy, Sarah, even Liam, Arron and Luke - who I don't see very often at all anymore, but who are still so much a part of my heart, so much a part of who I am; my friends that I'm just really starting to make - Dan, Russel, Vanessa, Stan, Indre, Sonam, even Charlotte, Chris, Dave... - who probably don't realise just how much they already mean to me. Then there's Lisa and Ellie... so many people to make this life so wonderful!
It's like they push the poop out (okay, didn't mean for it to sound that much like the end of a digestive system...) and just leave the shiny golden diamond encrusted world.
Is it any wonder I live for my friends?
They're what make this life worth living, they're what makes up my entire world - I'd do anything for them.
My love, by any other word, would be as strong.
I know I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend... but if you went by a more innocent (less sexual) definition, then I would have both. Several times over.
These people, these wonderful people, who have somehow managed to stumble into my life, have my heart. I love them so entirely, that it's hard to imagine life without them (either before or after this moment). It feels like some of them have been with me always.
I hope none of them ever try to change who they are - because, to me, they are perfect. The only thing I would change about any of them (if I could) would be to make them happy.
So, my mission in life will forever be to make those special people happy.
May you always be happy with the special people in your life.
Blessed be xx
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